eBook PDF / e-Pub Running with Scissors

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Title:Running with Scissors
Format Type:Ebook
Author:Augusten Burroughs
Publisher:eBooks
ISBN:031242227X
ISBN 13:
Number of Pages:315
Category:Memoir, Non fiction, Biography, Humor

Running with Scissors by Augusten Burroughs

PDF, EPUB, MOBI, TXT, DOC Running with Scissors The true story of an outlaw childhood where rules were unheard of the Christmas tree stayed up all year round Valium was consumed like candy and if things got dull an electroshock therapy machine could provide entertainment .

Running with Scissors is the true story of a boy whose mother a poet with delusions of Anne Sexton gave him away to be raised by her unorthodox psychiatrist who bore a striking resemblance to Santa Claus So at the age of twelve Burroughs found himself amidst Victorian squalor living with the doctor s bizarre family and befriending a pedophile who resided in the backyard shed The story of an outlaw childhood where rules were unheard of and the Christmas tree stayed up all year round where Valium was consumed like candy and if things got dull an electroshock therapy machine could provide entertainment The funny harrowing and bestselling account of an ordinary boy s survival under the most extraordinary circumstances

Running with Scissors

The true story of an outlaw childhood where rules were unheard of the Christmas tree stayed up all year round Valium was consumed like candy and if things got dull an electroshock therapy machine could provide entertainment br br Running with Scissors is the true story of a boy whose mother a poet with delusions of Anne Sexton gave him away to be raised by her unorthodox psychiatrist who bore a striking resemblance to Santa Claus So at the age of twelve Burroughs found himself amidst Victorian squalor living with the doctor s bizarre family and befriending a pedophile who resided in the backyard shed The story of an outlaw childhood where rules were unheard of and the Christmas tree stayed up all year round where Valium was consumed like candy and if things got dull an electroshock therapy machine could provide entertainment The funny harrowing and bestselling account of an ordinary boy s survival under the most extraordinary circumstances


Dry

Revisit the second memoir in Augusten s bestselling trilogy of i Running with Scissors Dry i and i Lust amp Wonder i br br You may not know it but you ve met Augusten Burroughs You ve seen him on the street in bars on the subway at restaurants a twenty something guy nice suit works in advertising Regular Ordinary But when the ordinary person had two drinks Augusten was circling the drain by having twelve when the ordinary person went home at midnight Augusten never went home at all Loud distracting ties automated wake up calls and cologne on the tongue could only hide so much for so long At the request well it wasn t really a request of his employers Augusten landed in rehab where his dreams of group therapy with Robert Downey Jr are immediately dashed by the grim reality of fluorescent lighting and paper hospital slippers But when Augusten is forced to examine himself something actually starts to click and that s when he finds himself in the worst trouble of all Because when his thirty days are up he has to return to his same drunken Manhattan life and live it sober What follows is a memoir that s as moving as it is funny as heartbreaking as it is real i Dry i is the story of love loss and Starbucks as a higher power


Magical Thinking: True Stories

From the bestselling author of Running with Scissors and Dry a contagiously funny heartwarming shocking twisted and absolutely magical collection True stories that give voice to the thoughts we all have but dare not mention It begins with a Tang Instant Breakfast Drink television commercial when Augusten was seven Then there is the contest of wills with the deranged cleaning lady The execution of a rodent carried out with military precision and utter horror Telemarketing revenge Dating an undertaker and much more A collection of true stories that are universal in their appeal yet unabashedly intimate and very funny


Possible Side Effects

br b National Bestseller b br br From the i New York Times i bestselling author of i Running with Scissors i comes Augusten Burroughs s most provocative collection of true stories yet From nicotine gum addiction to lesbian personal ads to incontinent dogs i Possible Side Effects i mines Burroughs s life in a series of uproariously funny essays These are stories that are uniquely Augusten with all the over the top hilarity of i Running with Scissors i the erudition of i Dry i and the breadth of i Magical Thinking i A collection that is universal in its appeal and unabashedly intimate i Possible Side Effects i continues to explore that which is most personal mirthful disturbing and cherished with unmatched audacity A cautionary tale in essay form Be forewarned hilarious troubling and shocking results might occur


A Wolf at the Table

As a little boy I had a dream that my father had taken me to the woods where there was a dead body He buried it and told me I must never tell It was the only thing we d ever done together as father and son and I promised not to tell But unlike most dreams the memory of this one never left me And sometimes I wasn t altogether sure about one thing was it just a dream i i br br When Augusten Burroughs was small his father was a shadowy presence in his life a form on the stairs a cough from the basement a silent figure smoking a cigarette in the dark As Augusten grew older something sinister within his father began to unfurl Something dark and secretive that could not be named br br Betrayal after shocking betrayal ensued and Augusten s childhood was over The kind of father he wanted didn t exist for him This father was distant aloof uninterested br br And then the games began br br With i A Wolf at the Table i Augusten Burroughs makes a quantum leap into untapped emotional terrain the radical pendulum swing between love and hate the unspeakably terrifying relationship between father and son Told with scorching honesty and penetrating insight it is a story for anyone who has ever longed for unconditional love from a parent Though harrowing and brutal i A Wolf at the Table i will ultimately leave you buoyed with the profound joy of simply being alive It s a memoir of stunning psychological cruelty and the redemptive power of hope br br


Sellevision

The hilarious first novel by the bestselling author of i Running with Scissors i i Dry i i A Wolf at the Table i and i You Better Not Cry i i Sellevision i is Augusten Burrough s darkly funny and vastly entertaining skewering of a very troubled home shopping channel br br Welcome to the world of Sellevision America s premier retail broadcasting network When Max Andrews the much loved and handsome that is lonely and gay host of a Toys for Tots segment accidentally exposes himself in front of millions of kids Sellevision faces its first big scandal As Max struggles to find a new job in television the popular and perky host Peggy Jean Smythe is receiving sinister emails from a stalker Popping pills and drinking heavily she fails to notice that her husband is spending a lot of time with the young babysitter who lives next door Then there s Leigh whose affair with married Sellevision boss Howard Toast is going nowhere until she announces their relationship on air A blistering satire of our overcharged scandal obsessed world i Sellevision i is an absolute howl wicked fun New York i Daily News i


You Better Not Cry: Stories for Christmas

You ve eaten too much candy at Christmas but have you ever eaten the face off a six footstuffed Santa You ve seen gingerbread houses but have you ever made your own gingerbread tenement You ve woken up with a hangover but have you ever woken up next to Kris Kringle himself Augusten Burroughs has and in this caustically funny nostalgic poignant and moving collection he recounts Christmases past and present as only he could With gimleteyed wit and illuminated prose Augusten shows how the holidays bring out the worst in us and sometimes just sometimes the very very best


This Is How: Proven Aid in Overcoming Shyness, Molestation, Fatness, Spinsterhood, Grief, Disease, Lushery, Decrepitude & More. For Young and Old Alike.

If you re fat and fail every diet if you re thin but can t get thin enough if you lose your job if your child dies if you are diagnosed with cancer if you always end up with exactly the wrong kind of person if you always end up alone if you can t get over the past if your parents are insane and ruining your life if you really and truly wish you were dead if you feel like it s your destiny to be a star if you believe life has a grudge against you if you don t want to have sex with your spouse and don t know why if you feel so ashamed if you re lost in life If you have ever wondered How am I supposed to survive this br br This is How


Lust & Wonder

First came i Running with Scissors i Then came i Dry i Now there s i Lust amp Wonder i br br In chronicling the development and demise of the different relationships he s had while living in New York Augusten Burroughs examines what it means to be in love what it means to be in lust and what it means to be figuring it all out With Augusten s unique and singular observations and his own unabashed way of detailing both the horrific and the humorous i Lust and Wonder i is an intimate and honest memoir that his legions of fans have been waiting for


Take Five: Four Favorite Essays Plus One Never-Been-Seen Essay

div div From the number one bestselling author of Running with Scissors and Dry comes TAKE FIVE a mini collection of true stories that give voice to the thoughts that we all have but dare not mention stories that shine a flashlight into both dark and hilarious places TAKE FIVE includes the following four favorite previously published essays plus one brand new never been published essay by Augusten Burroughs br MINT THRESHOLD br UNCLEAR SAILING br COMMERICAL BREAK br DEBBIE S REQUIREMENTS br SWAN SONG new br div div


Dry, Take Five: Four Favorite Essays Plus One Never-Been-Seen Essay, A Wolf at the Table, Sellevision, This Is How: Proven Aid in Overcoming Shyness, Molestation, Fatness, Spinsterhood, Grief, Disease, Lushery, Decrepitude & More. For Young and Old Alike., Running with Scissors, Possible Side Effects, You Better Not Cry: Stories for Christmas, Lust & Wonder, Magical Thinking: True Stories